What we leave behind

I have been thinking lately about what it means to be a family and how ties bind us together.

About what things leave the most lasting impression upon our souls.

There are legacies and inheritances, which are not the same things at all.

To leave an inheritance means one has left behind some thing of monetary value or worth for people that they love to have (or fight over) once they have die, a piece of property or something to treasure. But a legacy is something that one leaves in people, that intangible sparkly star stuff for which there is no price.

The love and value. The self worth we are trying to teach these priceless boys, who really and truly think they are worthless. The unconditional love we are offering them because we want to give. We were entirely unprepared to be loved backed. They started calling us Mom & Dad right away. (Freaked us out. Called the social worker and asked what to do about it. She laughed at us.)

Legacies.

The older boy knows what it means to have a foster family; he says it is a temporary family to love you until your real family gets better.

We told him he's right. He asked us if we'd love him for always.

We said of course.

We meant it.

We have not told him that he is our real family. That our foster children will be our real kids until we find the ones we adopt...That is just too much for anyone to think about. Don't you agree?

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13 comments:

  1. KristinaApril 29, 2006 at 9:54 PM

    There always something to leave behind, something a person always remembered by. Great entry.

    Sincerely Yours,

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  2. CynthiaApril 30, 2006 at 1:06 AM

    I think you handled that beautifully.

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  3. TamaraApril 30, 2006 at 8:19 AM

    I am so proud of you and Charley. It isn't easy taking care of foster children, for they are by nature more difficult than so called normal children to care for. You and Charley are doing a wonderful job are loving those kids as much as you would had they come from your own bodies. You are making a very positive lifetime impression on two little souls. Now how cool is that?

    Love,

    Mom

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  4. TJApril 30, 2006 at 8:43 AM

    I don't make mention of this often but i would like to share this with you.
    Ours sons had us deeply involved in everything so we always had a trailer of young boys with us.
    One night the door bell rang..a 15 yr.old boy we knew ( barely) standing on our steps with few personal items. He said and I quote" I want you to adopt me!" Always a house full I thought he meant for the night. We ended up in court for his custody and of course we got it, but he also wanted us to take his little sister. I spent months trying to get her tucked in with an aunt who didn't have any children. To this day, 18 years later he will call to say he thinks about us, he thanks us for who he is and the opportunity we gave him. He was a suicidal all those years and a huge challenge, but he is still here. Our sons gave up many things so we could include him...none of us have ever had regrets. He has a family, 7 foster children.
    Love TJ

    ReplyDelete
  5. lorileoApril 30, 2006 at 10:14 AM

    It will work out the way He wants it to...
    Do not get to upset if this is not the right soul for you to mend...

    He has a plan for you and for them...You are doing his work...

    ReplyDelete
  6. Theresa WilliamsApril 30, 2006 at 2:18 PM

    What a sweet entry!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Bedazzzled1April 30, 2006 at 2:25 PM

    "He asked us if we'd love him for always."

    That squeezed my heart until I felt I could not breathe. Kids are so resilient, yet also so fragile.

    I am happy those children are with you and Charley. You can give them exactly what they need. And you will never be forgotten...nor will they.

    And, yes, the answer to your last question is a definite "yes."

    ::tight hug::
    Nikki

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  8. MaggieApril 30, 2006 at 5:43 PM

    Hi Christina. Great blog. I also have ms and am living in South Africa. I put ms into the blog search engine, and yours was one of the results. It's sometimes nice to know that one isn't in this thing alone.

    ReplyDelete
  9. LouisianaMay 1, 2006 at 8:39 AM

    How horribly sad that any person let alone a child feels hes worthless. How beautiful that they can still open up their hearts to love and to trust...if not they couldn't call you dad and mom...much too often our hearts close after trauma of heart or body. I'm glad they are not there and hope they never are. As for his question: everyone needs to feel loved and feel wanted and needs normalcy. How wonderful these boys ended in your home but how sad that there was ever any need to begin with. They obviously ache for stability and need love and care, they know they have it with in your (both) arms...they of course would love to stay...who wouldn't?
    Thank you for what you are doing. Thank you for looking after God's angels and for loving them, specially the most needed.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Bedazzzled1May 2, 2006 at 12:05 AM

    I am back. I just wanted to snuggle in your blog for a bit. I like the warmth and positive energy I get from being here. I won't take up much room...maybe just a little spot over there -->

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  11. VMay 2, 2006 at 5:05 PM

    aww, Christina, your beautiful soul shines through!
    Hugs to the boys.
    V

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  12. Tammy BrierlyMay 2, 2006 at 5:57 PM

    I think the process of adoption and being a foster parent is an awesome gift. Thank you for sharing :)

    XXOO

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  13. Lisa :-]May 5, 2006 at 12:01 AM

    All they need to know is that you are their family, and they are your family NOW.

    ReplyDelete

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