Washington is an odd state and has some things about it that make being a Foster Parent interesting, one of which it the whole concept of unification. I believe that these children belong to their birth families and that reuniting them is the best plan. The state of Washington wants me to believe that too.
The goal is to get the parents (or parent) well enough to take care of their children and then to join the family back together. Some of the Fosters are open enough that they allow the families to be part of their families too, like going to events and sharing in special occasions. Charley and I have decided that if the state has cleared certain family members for contact we will let our "kids" have plenty of contact with their birth families because....Well, because that is how it should be.
We are just their guardians.
The Watch Keepers.
The safe tower.
The protectors.
For some of these children family visits help them keep hold of their idenity and roots, thereby eliminating that whole "lost child" feeling that so many in foster care use to have. Our kids are lucky enough to have contact with select members of their birth family which is a blessing for all of us, I think.
For the kids, for the family and for us.
Love heals wounds, even if these little kids are only in our home for a short while.
January 15th
One year ago today I began to eat differently. It is called the Ketogenic diet and the information is out there for free ...
You are so right - love heals all wounds. Way to go!
ReplyDeleteBe well,
Charley
http://journals.aol.com/cdittric77/courage
This makes perfect sense to me. If the idea is to reunite the children with their families, it does no good for them to have no contact with those families whatsoever, and then be thrown back into them when everything is "fixed."
ReplyDeleteFrom a former foster child and current child advocate...
ReplyDeleteReunification is an idealistic goal, and as a former foster child, I tend to cringe away from leaning too far on either side.
Sorry, Charley, but love doesn't heal all wounds. Sometimes love isn't enough, if there is no safety for the child.
If a child is continually sexually or physically abused by a parent, sometimes the outcome might be death, either by murder or suicide.
Each case should be looked at individually in court. The PEW Commission has written up a detailed list of recommendations such as:
-Not using the traditional "adversarial" approach to family court cases. Because if a child ends up in the wrong placement, we ALL lose.
-Using a "round table" approach, in order to determine the best placement for a child. Including social workers, lawyers, CASA representatives (to advocate for the children), foster parents, bio parents and perhaps even the child (if he or she is old enough) in the discussion.
Best placement for the children might sometimes be reunification, if the parent(s) has complied with the case plan, if the home is now safe.
Minnesota has what I consider to be a wise initiative -- they distinguish between:
1.) Neglect - which could be lack of parental education, and remedied by parenting classes
and
2.) Abuse - which can be very pervasive and sometimes even a pattern in the entire family
I'm against dogmatism on either side. Foster children shouldn't "always" return home. Foster children shouldn't "never" return home.
Each case is unique - and the bottom line is child safety in the long-term.
Aw, you two must be so busy; busy but so happy!
ReplyDeleteHugs,
V
That is also the concept here in Az... at least when my parents were fostering. Like you say that could be good and bad.
ReplyDeleteWe just hope that it's monitored both ways and in the best interest in the child is taken in consideration!
It's really sad when the child becomes a pawn or a bartering device... like my sister's biological Mom... instead of prosecution (for abuse and neglect) she choose to give up her 5 daughters and leave the state. see good and bad... she should have done both in my eyes... because last we heard she was pregnate again...
the system?
You both are doing a good thing (for the right reasons) and like you said there are those who choose to profit off the system and that bothered my Mom the most too.
good to hear from you...
xoxo
7:07 AM, May 23, 2006
Can you tell I have gotten way behind in my blog reading and am desperately trying to catch up? I am bombarding you with comments for each entry I have missed!
ReplyDeleteThe way you and Charley think and are handling the foster care situation sounds so very positive. Surely the children will benefit.
I love thinking of you doing "mommy things"...brings a big smile to my face.
Nikki Ü