Numb

Wednesday, March 9, 2005


Main Entry: numb
Pronunciation: 'n&m
Function: adjective
Etymology: Middle English nomen, from past participle of nimen to take -- more at NIM
1 : devoid of sensation especially as a result of cold or anesthesia
2 : devoid of emotion : INDIFFERENT- numb transitive verb
- numb·ing·ly /'n&-mi[ng]-lE/ adverb
- numb·ly /'n&m-lE/ adverb
- numb·ness noun

The defining moment for me was when I realized that it wasn't ok to stay numb. It was easy when being numb was accepted with a nod and wink but then I realized how much was missing. How much was sucked from glory by staying numb. Devoid.

Interestingly enough to be numb has profound ramifications but there are few words used to describe it. Fitting really.

"result of .......... anesthesia"

One can grow use to life and that life becomes anesthesia, that life is the very presence of a heart beat lulling the mind into compliancy. For an artist it is this very despair, this desperation that pushes us further into the realm of creativity. That ever present Fear of the deep, dark hole that swirls and sucks at the essences of our souls. Most Artist are anything but normal. Anything but secure in self.....and it is the pushing of self, the pushing of limits that provide the fertilizer of explosive creativity.

Artists do not fit nicely into the little boxes of society. They overflow like wet cotton candy hands leaving sugary-goo on everything they touch. One can always see the trail left by an artist.




ckays1967 at 9:50:00 PM PST Link to this entry

This entry has 6 comments: (Add your own)
Chris {{{ Hugs }}}
V
Comment from deabvt - 3/13/05 1:52 AM



In a strange way, my writing usually springs forth from numbness... I have found that an appearance of numbness is what the world wants to see, and if I write, I can put on that appearance... Lisa :-]
Comment from lisaram1955 - 3/10/05 8:47 AM



Very Interesting Entry! At first I thought you were talking about MS. And I thought Oh! poor kid! She's having an exacerbation. LOL!. Then I saw it was about artists and creativity. Reminds me a bit of that poem by T.S. Eliot,
The Love Song of J.Alfred Prufrock
http://www.bartleby.com/198/1.html
which deals with the emptiness and soullessness of society, which is a form of numbness.
"I have measured out my life with coffee spoons. "
T.S.
Eliot
Anyway,I gotta go wash my hands...there's all this sticky pink stuff on 'em.=D
Kathy
Comment from gypsytrader49 - 3/10/05 5:21 AM



Christine,
This is such a wonderful entry. I clicked on "INDIFFERENT" and came up with this........."that does not matter one way or the other". Amazing because this is how I am beginning to feel. I love reading your journal. Thank you so much! Especially after spending the night in the ER. I knew not to go there. But there was no choice. But I still am sorry I went. They never are able to do anything. Except shoot me up with morphine and tell me my CAT Scan looked fine except my common bile duct was enlarged. Hence the pain. You see the Lupus is now pillaging my internal organs. "But Hey go home" So yes, "indifferent" "NUMB" IS A GREAT ENTRY TODAY!!! Love you bunches LuAnne

http://journals.aol.com/thebaabee/LUANNESLIFELIVINGWITHLUPUS
Comment from thebaabee - 3/10/05 3:26 AM



WOW! I love this entry! I will definitely have to link it to mine when I come back to the topic of numbness--did you read that entry by the way or are we in some kind of weird parallel universe?! I think you're right about the fear of void being a call to action for the artist! Thanks for such an enlighting entry and a new way of looking at the subject! http://journals.aol.com/theresarrt7/TheresaWilliams-author/





Comment from theresarrt7 - 3/9/05 11:38 PM



Wonderful way you have of self-expression. You bare your soul as only an artist can do. Great entry, Christine. Blessings to you and yours, gloria
Comment from gbgoglo - 3/9/05 9:56 PM