for my friend

Monday, July 5, 2004


I lived for what seemed like forever in Arizona...upon moving many bonds were lost when Washington became my home. Several of these people walked across my heart, leaving undeniable footprints on my soul.

Today this e-mail came:

"Hi Christina,

Sorry that its been a while, and sorry that I have some sad news to share, but thought you'd want to know –

Loretta G was in a car accident on Friday on the way home from work, and unfortunately she did not make it. She had severe head injuries and did not regain consciousness, so the doctors said she wouldn't have been in pain or anything.
I know how much you cared for all of us, and thought you would want to know. We are all leaving at 2 to head to the club where she was doing her review to say good-bye with all of her friends.

Pretty rotten start to the week."

As I get older I think about death more in terms of what the person who died has lost and she, being in her thirties, lost a lot. Family, loved ones and friends.

Living apart from people changes your perception of them, sometimes for the best and sometimes not. Loretta was one of those people who left something tangible behind. She was funny, bright, a smart aleck, curious and friendly. She was painfully honest. Not being around her allowed me to see that she was graceful ~ an idea that would have irritated her completely, she didn't think of herself in those kinds of terms. But she was. She loved, laughed, worked and played hard. She lived. She was comfortable in her skin enough to love people not like herself. It takes maturity to reach that level of acceptance and grace.

This world shines less brightly without her in it.



Now this seems appropirate, lighting the way. Thank you Vivian!



{{{{{{Editing note: Loretta was also a lesbian who got married had kids and then "came out".}}}}





ckays1967 at 6:32:00 PM PDT Link to this entry

This entry has 9 comments: (Add your own)
I am so sorry about your friend and my prayers are with her loved ones. What a beautiful tribute you wrote to your friend. Love and blessings..gloria
Comment from gbgoglo - 7/11/04 8:37 AM



Loretta sounds like someone I would enjoy knowing. I'm sorry for the loss of your friend. :-) ---Robbie
Comment from krobbie67 - 7/10/04 7:49 AM



My prayers are with Loretta.
V
Comment from deabvt - 7/6/04 9:56 AM



Ohhh Christina, you've lost so many friends in this life and now another one is gone to be with our Lord. I'm so very sorry to hear about Loretta, she will be dearly missed, especially by those who loved her the most. With deepest sympathy, Mom
Comment from tsgerkin - 7/6/04 4:27 AM



awww. so sad! I heard sad news tonight from a person who came in to buy some wine tonight at the store, his neices husband had died in a car wreck. leaving her widowed and with 4 children. what is there to say? it's just soo sad. I'm sorry about your friend. :(

I like that picture of you, your toooo cute!!
Comment from babyshark28 - 7/6/04 12:57 AM



I am so sorry to hear about your friend.

Kathy
Comment from onestrangecat - 7/5/04 10:58 PM



God, it's always so horrible when a young person dies! But, by your description of her, I would say she really LIVED while she was on this earth. Many people are not so blessed. I'm sorry about your friend! Lisa :-]
Comment from mlraminiak - 7/5/04 10:08 PM



{{{{{Christina}}}}} I'm sorry to read about your friend. Two weeks ago my family lost a wonderful young man we knew..28 yrs old...was a shining light in his community...was well respected by everyone professionally and socially...was always willing to help...he just seemed to do everything right for himself and everyone around him. He lost his life in a motor cycle accident. I know it's very different things, I just wanted to reach out to you in your grief. I'm glad this symbol of light...a symbol of celebration is here...your friend was a bright light too and your entry truly celebrated your friendship.

Thank you Christina for displaying the torch.

Vivian
Comment from viviansullinwank - 7/5/04 7:29 PM



So sorry about your friend but she was wise and 'lived life' which is why she is remembered with so much affection. Love you. *Barb*
Comment from barbpinion - 7/5/04 6:52 PM