One of my children is struggling to grow up. Each day is a challenge to remember what was and obvious feelings of guilt for being happy now.
Thoughts about life fill up the crannies of this child's heart and the questions are stark, unanswerable.
"When I was little did my birth mom hold me like you hold the baby?"
"I am growing up good, right mom?"
"Remember when I use be tiny and my other mommy loved me?"
Just a few minutes ago we had a little talk about how it is ok to love her forever and how those feelings are ok to have.
The comment that is lingering with me?
"Then it is not my fault the my birth mom started to be naughty?"
Sometimes I struggle with this path God has me on, struggle with how to teach them to be level headed and happy. Struggle with not being bitter about the scars that adults leave on little kids.
January 15th
One year ago today I began to eat differently. It is called the Ketogenic diet and the information is out there for free ...
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Wednesday, December 8, 2004 The best early Present I have ever received: (A letter from my mom in e-mail box today) (yes, this is me.) ...
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Thursday, February 10, 2005 Lions, Tigers and HAMSTERS..... oh my I have been sick. Very sick...acute bronchitis (as opposed to ugly bronch...
Wow, such conflict of love, longing, and guilt in a young child. Sounds like he/she is getting alot of love now in your care. Good job Christina.
ReplyDeleteHey Sweetie, You already know this, but simply keep teaching your children that there are no perfect people in this world, and that their birth parents are no exeception to this rule.
ReplyDeleteChildren are full of questions and it seems that the older they get, the more questions and also doubts they aquire. It's difficult to be a parent, especially a good parent. I am so glad that you are their mom now and that it is your wisdom that will help them grow into healthy adults. You are doing a wonderful job Christina and I am so very proud of you! Give yourself a huge hug from me.
I miss you so much and love you more than life,
Mom