Wednesday, August 25, 2004
Indeed, we are but the sum of our past, the sum of our beginnings ~ the factors that make up our being are, in part, traced to our roots.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The connectedness of this life is that in some small way each person can relate to the trials of another....This photograph is the only known picture of a day that forever changed the path of the blond in the middle. Left to right: Kenny, Aunt Robyn, Aunt Julie, Tamara (&me), Rick, Kay and Uncle Larry...This is the bare bones of my family tree. It is my parent's wedding day which occurred in the office of some unknown Justice of the Peace.
As an adult I can only begin to imagine the thoughts that must have been flowing threw my Grandma's mind and heart...Did you notice she appears to be holding the hand of her little girl? My mom was 14 in this picture and I can not ever express just how lucky I have been to be allowed to have her.
She is a magical soul.
She is a stubborn soul.
She is an Artist, with a capital "A".
She is a stubborn soul.
She is an Artist, with a capital "A".
Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if she had had one of those back alley abortions. Would my soul have found another way to come to her? Were our destinies always planned as mother and daughter? Why so young? Why did my Dad have to be murdered in 1979?
These are, of course, all rhetorical questions for which there are a thousand possible answers. What is certain is that because of her, that little blond girl in the middle, I have had a most majestic journey in this life.
Because of her I know a thing or two about happiness, love and security.
Because of her, I am.
posted by ckays1967 at 7:07 PM on Aug 25 2004
This entry has 10 comments: (Add your own)
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful, beautiful entry. I honestly have goosebumps. So young, so brave. She's beautiful, as you are... you obviously needed each other. Thank you so much for sharing this. :)
Comment from slowmotionlife - 8/31/04 1:31 PM
You deserve each other!!! Lisa :-]
Comment from mlraminiak - 8/30/04 7:55 PM
What a stunningly beautiful tribute to your mom.
~~ jennifer
Comment from xzasporated1 - 8/29/04 3:30 PM
Delete Comment Remove This Reader
beautiful.....
Comment from cneinhorn - 8/28/04 6:45 PM
Super duper, dear heart.
Comment from haikulike - 8/28/04 2:23 AM
Ohhh Christina, thank you for loving me the way you do. I hope you know that I feel so lucky to have you for my daughter...it is because of you that I am. You've given me so many years of joy and pleasure that I cannot imagine life without you. I love you, Mom
Comment from tsgerkin - 8/27/04 7:22 PM
Aww! What a great Pic!
V
Comment from deabvt - 8/26/04 10:55 AM
Nice photos. Sorry I've missed so many entries. hon. My computer was messing up and finally went out. The Lord helped me get it repaired pretty fast. Only thing is that there were close to 500 emails and Alerts when I got back on. No way could I get caught up. Just deleted them and am starting over. Missed you.
Hugs, love * Prayers. *Barb*
Comment from barbpinion - 8/26/04 9:51 AM
Wow is that picture a blast from the past, or what. It's so classic '60s. Great picture full of great memories.
Comment from dbaumgartner - 8/26/04 3:47 AM
Beautiful people and clothing and hair of of the past brings me back to my youth. Thanks for sharing I'm assuming your family.
Comment from readmereadyou - 8/25/04 9:34 PM
Wow! Christina 14 Years Old?!!!! Now, I understand when you said that you had grown together. I am impressed to no end to know that T could have raised from that age such an amazing girl! But, that would have meant your Dad and T’s husband died when your Mom was 27, which is of course younger than any of us now, and you would have been only 12 or 13. Pshwoo, my oldest son is now 25. That’s such an incredible young age for an adult. I’m sorry for both of you for having lost so deeply.
ReplyDeleteI was taken by your comment of “holding the hand of her little girl?” It’s just now that I figured you meant your grandmother. I had been thinking that your mother’s right hand was placed over her tummy holding you!
I’d try to let go of some of the scary thought you are having, though I’ve done the scary thoughts myself. For over 20 years now, I’ve thought of myself being the child of my Grandfather and mother. I don’t know the truth.
It helps me though in thinking of my abuse that at least she was saved from my Grandfather. And, that it would explain some of her anger at me. I’ve not always been grateful for my birth, I think I was taught that. But, I remember coming to a decision with that too.
Thirteen years ago, I was in a legal terminology course at a local college and the question of abortion arose. I stood up, gave a 5 minute story of my life and when I sat down I had realized how grateful I was of being born, no matter what.
Shoot Christiana, you can sure get a person to thinking! God Bless!
Ayn
My Sweet Daughter,
ReplyDeleteAgain you've brought tears to my eyes and pride in my heart. I loved you before you were born. The love I felt then pales in comparrison to what I felt the moment I held you. And today, you are truly a part of my soul.
I'll have to come back and finish this.
Love forever and always,
Mom
Okay, that settles it. I am moving into your journal. It is a warm, inviting, magical, thought-provoking, lovely, and peaceful place to be.
ReplyDeleteWow!
ReplyDeleteAnd your Template is the perfect tribute!
Hugs,
V
Christina, I have returned to this posting at least another dozen times, just like when you first posted it and I am not afraid to say that the impact is immense even still.
ReplyDeleteI, more so than any mother I've ever known, bar none, am so truly blessed to have you for my daughter! I think that God understood that we needed each other on earth and this is why he united our souls. And maybe, since his own mother was my age when she gave birth, that he knew I would be able to handle having you so young. He gave me the wisdom to raise you to the best of my ability. He gave me you because he knew that together we would grow and discover all the beauty in this world and even though at times darkness prevailed, his light always showed us the way.
And about Mom holding my hand. She was. In this picture I was connected to her, Rick and you.
I love you Christina and I'm so proud to be your mother. Thank you for loving me the way you do.
Forever and always,
Mom
Love is what I feel
ReplyDeletethe love hangs the same
when thinking of one
can hear the other's name
Breathlessly filling.
Love to you both
Spencer
http://spencersotherplace.blogspot.com/
This has left me speechless..
ReplyDeleteSo much is said in the connectedness of the pic and then to "hear" the little voice of the one in the pic, yet we can not see her.
So much from that point on, of lives...
Amazing.
I hope you feel better soon! How blessed you are to have each other!Sending healthy vibes.
ReplyDelete{{HUGS}}
When i think of mother's and their strengthy, all that comes to mind for me is 'Mommy!'. Such a little word for all it implies.
ReplyDeleteA beautiful entry & very thought provoking. It is through the connectiveness of this life, as you describe it, that I personally am able to relate to a fine person such as yourself. It is the trials and the challenges in this life which mold us, giving a person character. You have that strength and beauty of character. Like a fine painting, you are, Christina. I can easily see why your mom is so proud of you.
ReplyDeleteWhat a lovely post. She must be so proud.
ReplyDeleteMerry Christmas To You & Yours!
Gabreael
http://gabreaelsbodymindandspirit.blogspot.com/
Dearest Christina we're passing along our extra :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::tissues::::::::::::::::::::::::: Please get better soon. And, keep those feet warm!!!
ReplyDeletexoxoxoxox
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