This summer has been. It has.
In the realm of my life it has held lots of growth, a new human that I may not speak of (but love) and may be a point of maturation for me. I have felt the sting of Junior High this summer...in being rejected, in being unnoticed and in being left behind.
As always I find my words tainted and shaded with double meanings, with innuendos; never being certain who is stalking my blog. The stalkers have caused a long silence on my soul but, when one writes, the words linger still in the chambers of the mind. They bounce relentlessly against one's skull and beg to be released.
I read an article in MomSense about how friends in adulthood can feel like having friends in Junior High, the whole time nodding my head and saying, "Yes! Yes!" The writer talked of the cliques of being an adult, of being a mom and of being a person of faith. Since all of my current opportunities for friends originate at church, I know what it feels like to be quietly sidelined. To volunteer and not be sure if you were not needed or not wanted. To know that you were in the range of camera but somehow got cut out of the picture, literally. To be erased by the very people who are suppose to be loving you.
From my experience, being rejected takes a lot out of a person. I turn to my Lord for friendship and strength, I wish I could manage to thrive and grow the human friendships too.
January 15th
One year ago today I began to eat differently. It is called the Ketogenic diet and the information is out there for free ...
It has been a while since you posted and since I dropped in. I'm so sorry you are feeling the sting of rejection just now. It has an icy feel, doesn't it? Do what you can to make warmth with those around you that you love. That will help a lot. Peace.
ReplyDeleteAw, Chris.....
ReplyDeleteYou have so much to be proud of, including your wonderful poetic gift!
V
Just want you to know that here is one place that you need never feel rejected.
ReplyDeleteLove you. Miss you. Don't like to hear that someone has hurt you...
Yes, I very much sympathize with you on this particular thing (albeit a month late). Volunteer organizations, congregations of faith, and so forth, can feel very clique-y indeed.
ReplyDeleteYou know your own value as a person, as a mother, as a teacher to your children, as a wife, and as a child of G-d. Don't let anyone take that from you.
But, here's a comment as an old guy: no one is going to like you better, or worse - or think better or worse of you as a person - when you volunteer. It took me many long years to learn this lesson, and I'll share with you in email if you want how I learned it.
Much love and peace.
Awh sweetie, I wish I could take-a-way all your pain and sadness. Wrap your arms around yourself and close your eyes. Imagine that my arms are holding you. I love you so much. Many people love you as well. The ones that are cruel and the ones that do not love you...let them go for they are not worthy of your emotions.
ReplyDeleteLove, hugs and devotion,
Mom