It has been snowing here again and causing me to just want to bundle up...we have been doing a well. Very well.
The freedom to write still scares me and I can not believe it to be real...like a caged animal who does not leave even though the door has been left open, my words are swirling furiously around in my soul but fear leaving the safety of my head.
What if.
What if.
What if.
The fear haunts me and in my dreams at night, people still show up and advise us to pack the children's bags because better parents have been found. People who could love them more.
The words of strangers are startling to my heart:
"You are so brave to do what you do, bless you."
" What a great thing to do, I don't think I could take in strangers to my home."
"Don't you worry about getting attached to them?"
There are not answers to some questions or comments that people make; but, what is true, what is right, is that it is incredibly easy to love little children. Easy to hold a crying little person close and just love him or her. It does not matter whether or not they will ever love you back or whether or not they will ever even know your name.
Even if it is only just for one day or for a lifetime...a child in need of a safe place to be is a child in need; I do not consider myself and my husband brave, just lucky. Besides we never met a kids that we did not just love to death!
Yes, one does get attached to the children we foster but how much depends on the context of the relationship; like when you are in school and you have a certain student for a while, you love them completely and know you have to send them on. That is what it like for us. We love them completely and then release them into their future.
Is that not what all parents do, really?
January 15th
One year ago today I began to eat differently. It is called the Ketogenic diet and the information is out there for free ...
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Thursday, February 10, 2005 Lions, Tigers and HAMSTERS..... oh my I have been sick. Very sick...acute bronchitis (as opposed to ugly bronch...
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Wednesday, December 8, 2004 The best early Present I have ever received: (A letter from my mom in e-mail box today) (yes, this is me.) ...
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Wednesday, April 6, 2005 Death It is in living that we march slowly towards the finish line that we all face and it is in the small moments ...
Christina, I too am glad that you can now write freely and YES, all parents have their children for a short time, love them with all their heart and soul, raise them to be productive members of society and say a little prayer when they have to let them go.
ReplyDeleteThis is a time to cherish, for it will pass all too quickly. Savor each moment you hold a crying child. And do no more than smile when someone asks you a question that either you cannot answer or decide to not answer. People always have a need to voice an opinion...let them. For their opinions are their own and have nothing to do with you.
I love you, and I am so very proud of both you and Charlie.
You are excellent parents!
Love,
Mom
Yes, it's what all parents are supposed to do. Some do it better than others.
ReplyDeleteLately, I've been encountering the eighteen-year-olds that have suffered from parents not doing a very good job. I think you and Charley probably have more positive effect on some of your kids in the short time you have them than some parents have in a lifetime.
Keep on keeping on! :-]
Letting go ... I'm never going to be ready. But then again, I was not ready for children either and then they arrived.
ReplyDelete