When you become a parent the traditional route...you know, fall in love, get
pregnant (or adopt a baby) and raise a new human being from scratch ...there
are some things that can be taken for grant. For example, by the time they are walking around on their own you are pretty much use to the responsibility of having them. Or how about by the time they start talking (and making sense) you've had some practice with the whole situation and can fake your way Thur Parenting.
Now jump into my world for a moment with me...you are 37 and NEVER had kids of your own and suddenly BAM your are a substitute "parent" of a 12 year old and a 15 year old who are not brother and sister and who were not raised together. This is a recipe for disaster. This is real trouble....my gosh no one warned me that I would make so many crucial mistakes.
What could we have done so wrong, I hear you thinking to yourself...
We took the girl child to the county fair by ourselves.
Normally, this would sound like a fine idea but 12 year old DO NOT like to get spotted in public with their adults. I think there is a secret cult that denies coming from adults altogether and the girl child belongs to it. It did occur to us that we should have had her bring a friend once we were already at the fair...no sweat though it is a very small town and she ran into a whole group of friends whom she hugged~and then promptly and graciously dismissed us. We were grateful to the little girl urchins and scampered off to view the various home grown vegetables, the youth fine art and the prize winning pasty goods in the exhibits. I saw an entire 1/4 scale working farm made of painted sunflower seeds. I saw week old cookies and pies. I saw little baggies of stuff that looked like happy weed decorated with prize ribbons.
What did we forget to do? We forgot to arrange a meeting time and place to pick up this little girl child and spent an hour tracking her down. By the time we caught up with her, she had ditched her friends and was hanging with two of her cousins who were also at the fair.
And then, then we had to go home to the boy child who was angry that we really did go to the fair that he said he DID NOT want to go to. He was mad that we didn't force him to go.
I promise I was not like these kids. If I was, gosh I am sorry. I don't even remember my mom cursing me with the infamous mother's curse: "I hope you grow up and have kids just like you!!"
This is hard stuff....my hat is off to you veterans.
ckays1967 at 10:09:00 PM PDT Link to this entry
This entry has 6 comments: (Add your own)
Wiser words ne'er said. I don't know how anyone does it. whence comes that wisdom? practice, I reckon.
Keep practicing-- you'll get really good, they tell me. But mistakes are to be welcomed; you and I know that first hand, do we not?
hugs from the ever-so-firmly planted in cheek,
Mumsy
Comment from haikulike - 9/4/04 5:55 PM
If you don’t mind the compliment and find you need a little inspiration here and there, William Shakespeare once penned “But be not afraid of greatness; some men are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them.” It does seem life has been ‘thrusting upon’ you all.
Spouse/Caregivingly Yours, Patrick
http://journals.aol.com/daddyleer/CaregivinglyYours/
Comment from daddyleer - 9/3/04 5:36 AM
Chris, sounds like a normal day to me! Don`t beat yourself up!
V
Comment from deabvt - 9/1/04 11:32 AM
Jumping in when they're 12 and 15, whew! Difficult ages, both of them. You're doing a wonderful thing, though.
Comment from sistercdr - 9/1/04 10:31 AM
My hat is off to you. You did something that most cannot do! This is nothing....Wait! LOL! You'll do fine. : )
Comment from readmereadyou - 9/1/04 1:12 AM
You'd have to pay me a pretty tidy sum of money to get me to take on parenthood at this point. Good luck...you will need it! (LOL!) Lisa :-]
Comment from mlraminiak - 8/31/04 11:51 PM
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